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Posts archive for: November, 2009
  • Getting it

    An extract from a conversation with Big Bro this evening

    "I really can't believe how far we've come, even in the last six months. The night we visited that couple was the turning point - that's when I told him how I felt and we cried together with the relief of it all being out in the open. Back then I was terrified by the whole prospect of forward planning - even when I started my new job in July and had to book two places for the Christmas 'do'! Now though we're talking about London next April, a charity walking thing next May and the wedding reception of one my colleagues as well as a holiday together next summer!!

    Still all feels a bit surreal at times but I feel more sane now than I've felt in years. I get it now."

    And I do. My God, I really do get it now. I understand how freeing real, honest love can be. This man came to me as a cold distraction from a deluded obsession and has become one of the most important people in my life. We work so well together, compliment each other so well, excite and calm each other, laugh and tease with such comfort, talk so openly....so honestly....so lovingly...and with such playful sarcasm.

    Now...finally....I get it.

  • In, out

    Warmth breath on cool skin
    I tried to be cold
    I try.

    I fail.

    Warm breath on cool skin
    Soothes
    Warms
    Calms

    I love and am loved

    This feels real

    This feels unreal

    This feels complete
    And immense

    I hold my breath, deep in my chest
    Holding it in with all my might
    Waiting for the fall, waiting to exhale

    Knowing that I can breathe
    When I allow it

    And he knows that when I do
    When I finally do
    I mean it

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